Inspiring Communication and Connection
Author:
Kate Marshall
Counsellor & PsychotherapistSerenity Counselling
First Published: 02/09/2026
Revised: 03/09/2026
Picture this: you’re struggling to feel connected to your partner. You know that talking helps, but when conversations revolve around house logistics, kids, and work, they often end in discomfort or an outright fight. It feels draining, and instead of bringing you closer, it leaves you feeling more disconnected than ever.
Struggling to find topics that foster emotional safety and reignite a flagging spark is completely normal. It happens in both new and long-term relationships, especially as life gets busier and screen time replaces quality time.
While working with a relationship counsellor is a fantastic way to uncover unhelpful communication patterns, you can also build closeness on your own through shared rituals.
The Gottman Institute suggests that ideal connection activities share four traits:
- You can do it together.
- You can do it regularly.
- It’s enjoyable (or at least pleasant) for both of you.
- It encourages healthy, low-stress communication.
Finding activities to fit this bill can feel daunting when the options are so broad. If the activity you would like to do stresses your partner, it probably won’t work as your primary source of bonding.
With all this in mind, the following exercises are designed to foster emotional intimacy directly, while offering clues for everyday hobbies you can explore together.
Icebreakers
Using Icebreaker questions can be a great way to deepen your connection and build emotional safety together. Think of the list below as just a starting point – feel free to adapt these questions or create your own.
The key is to approach each question with curiosity rather than assuming you already know the answer. We all grow and evolve over time, which means you might discover a fresh perspective on a familiar topic or find that your partner remembers a shared memory completely differently.
General Questions
- Tell me something weird about yourself.
- Tell me your favourite ice cream flavour.
- Tell me a random childhood anecdote.
- If you could meet someone famous, living or dead, who would it be and why?
Romantic Questions
- What was your first impression of me?
- When did you know you loved me?
- How do you best feel loved?
Fun and Nostalgic Questions
- What is a bizarre phase you went through as a teenager that I didn’t see?
- If you could instantly master any useless skill, what would it be?
- What was your favorite song in high school that you secretly still love?
Connection and Discovery Questions
- What is something new you have learned about yourself in the last year?
- When was the last time you felt genuinely proud of yourself?
- What is a compliment you love receiving but rarely get?
Deep and Meaningful Questions
- What does a perfect, worry-free day look like for you right now
- If you could change one thing about how we spend our free time, what is it?
- What is something you feel deeply grateful for in your life outside of our family?
- What fear do you want to overcome?
Awkward Busting Questions
- What is the dumbest argument we have ever had that you can laugh about now?
- If you had to confess a minor secret to me right now, what would it be?
- If we got locked in a shopping centre overnight, which store are you heading to first?
Would You Rather
- Live in the city or the country?
- Explore space or the deep ocean?
- Have super strength or invisibility?
- Always be hot or always be cold?
- Win the lottery or find true world peace?
Two Truths and a Lie
This game is a fairly well known one, but it can be a great way to learn more about each other. It might seem challenging in a long-term relationship but remembering that you can make your statements about anything at all about you, you can get inventive and have a lot of fun with it.
To play the game, either you or your partner share one false and two true things about yourselves. The other needs to guess which is a lie. You each take turns sharing your statements and guessing the lie, and it’s up to you whether or not you want to keep score.
While you’re playing, stay mindful of keeping the tone light, fun and especially respectful. Steer clear of topics that may be sensitive or triggering, or of using past areas of conflict for your statements. This is supposed to be a lighter approach to building trust and safety in vulnerability.
Three Thanks
This is one of the most effective, and yet easiest communication activity for growing connection on a daily basis. It takes just 10 minutes together and works well when practiced every day for at least a week.
Planning ahead will help you to make sure that you play each day and keep up the consistency. One of the most important ingredients to boosting your intimate connection with communication is to practice regularly, and also to show each other that the growing connection is a priority. So with that in mind, organising a particular time of day or gap in your daily routine that will work for both of you helps you to make the most of all of these activities.
Three Thanks is a game of gratitude. Looking back over your day, think of three things that your partner did which you appreciated. These things may be as simple as making you laugh or giving
you a long hug, or it may be that they ran an errand you didn’t feel like doing or brought your favourite chocolate bar for you while they were grocery shopping.Sitting across from your partner and looking at their face, share these three things, and thank them. Stay in the moment while you do this and remember to be genuine with your thanks. Avoid any
sneaky criticisms that might come in the form of a comparison to what they’ve done on other days, or any comments that might downplay what they have done so that you don’t dilute emotional safety, or the energy of your ‘thanks’.
Photo Show and Tell
Shared memories are an effective way to build a bridge back to connection in a relationship. By talking together about your past, remembering the emotions you felt, the sights, sounds, smells and even the challenges, you can relive the experience and rediscover the bonds you formed along the way.
To start this activity, each of you should take a little time to go through your photos and choose 3 that represent a relationship memory that is important to you. You don’t even have to be in the photo for it to work as your reminder.
Take 30 minutes in a comfortable place without interruptions if you can. Take it in turns to show one of the photos you’ve chosen to your partner a photo and talk about what it means to you. Share the memory itself, the details you noticed and why it matters to you.
This is one of those exercises that might even give you a hint towards activities you can start doing together now. Even if the memory itself isn’t something you can do, it may reveal some interesting ideas.
To start this activity, each of you should take a little time to go through your photos and choose 3 that represent a relationship memory that is important to you. You don’t even have to be in the photo for it to work as your reminder.
Take 30 minutes in a comfortable place without interruptions if you can. Take it in turns to show one of the photos you’ve chosen to your partner a photo and talk about what it means to you. Share the memory itself, the details you noticed and why it matters to you.
This is one of those exercises that might even give you a hint towards activities you can start doing together now. Even if the memory itself isn’t something you can do, it may reveal some interesting ideas.
Author:
Kate Marshall
Counsellor & PsychotherapistSerenity Counselling
Phone 0482 012 258 or visit www.serenitycounselling.com.au/bookings to schedule a session.
References
20 Communication games for the couples to grow closer. (2017, July 27). Marriage Advice – Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. https://www.marriage.com/advice/communication/easy-games-that-can-help-fix-bad-communication/
9 Powerful intimacy exercises to feel more connected. (2023, May 27). Practicalintimacy.Com. https://practicalintimacy.com/marriage-intimacy-exercises-for-couples/
admin. (2026, May 11). 6 Juegos para mejorar la confianza en pareja. Ashlee Arrieta Psychology Centre. https://ashleearrietalavado.com/en/games-to-improve-confidence-in-a-couple/